Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are 100% my own.
Breast is best.
The message is ingrained into our collective consciousness. It is the best, healthiest, and most acceptable way to feed your child. It provides the highest opportunity for increased immunity, protection against illness, and gastrointestinal health. Studies draw correlations between breastfeeding and higher IQs, decreased rates of obesity, and so on and so forth.
So we all should do it, right?
If only it were that easy.
9 Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting My #Breastfeeding Journey. #Nursing #Motherhood #Baby Share on XI’m now on my third child, and this is exactly the first time I have ever been able to exclusively breastfeed.
With my first, a combination of physical factors and my delay in taking any action prevented breastfeeding altogether. So my child was almost exclusively formula fed – much to the disgust of online nursing board trolls who attacked and belittled other mothers for formula feeding (another topic I will discuss in another post). For the record, my first child is now a perfectly healthy, intelligent, and fit preschooler.
With my second, I tried very hard to breastfeed. But after many weeks and more lactation consultants, breast pumps, and tears than I can count, I finally resorted to exclusive pumping. I exclusively pumped as much as I could produce (about 75-80% of my child’s intake) for just over 10 months. I don’t wish that on anyone. My goal had been to hit a year but, as anyone who has exclusively pumped can attest, it is a lot of work and frankly – I was over it. My second child is much like my first: healthy, intelligent, and physically fit.
But with my third, I was determined to breastfeed. I didn’t want to exclusively pump, and I wanted to know that my body could actually do what it was meant to do. This time I prepared extensively. I read books, watched YouTube videos, and talked to lactation consultants. I purchased everything I thought I would need. (And also purchased some formula too – just in case).
And by golly – now at eight weeks postpartum – I think we’ve finally got it!
But it’s not at all what I expected. There are parts that are much better and, truthfully, parts that are worse. I love and am so proud that my son and I have figured it out. We are in it for the long haul. But there are definitely things I wish I knew going in that would have helped me to better prepare. (If you are further along in your breastfeeding journey, check out my new post, 10 More Things I’ve Learned About Breastfeeding At 6 Months Postpartum).
Related Articles:
- 10 More Things I’ve Learned About Breastfeeding – At 6 Months Postpartum
- What to Pack in Your Maternity Hospital Bag + FREE Printable
- What You Really Need For a New Baby + FREE Printable
- 7 Reasons the United States Needs Paid Maternity Leave
- My Third Birth Story – Or, Why You Should Get an Epidural
It HURTS
And I don’t mean the “tender nipples” that all the breastfeeding books and lactation consulting boards gloss over. I mean it hurts like hell!
Especially in the beginning weeks, it feels like hundreds of tiny knives stabbing and cutting off your nipples every time you feed. Teeth clenching, wincing, toe curling pain.
Now imagine that these extremely sensitive and hurting nipples are required to feed again every 1-2 hours. The pain compounds. And makes you dread feedings. Add to this the fact that you’re still recovering from the birth experience, and that your hormones are all over the place, and it’s a recipe for disaster – or at least to give up and switch to formula.
Now, after the first few weeks the pain does begin to subside during the feed, but the initial pain remains – for about 20-30 seconds after latch. I suspect now that the initial pain will always be there, even if it does continue to decrease.
What is most frustrating about all of this is that if you dare speak of any pain, you will be immediately shunned. Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt, they’ll say. If it hurts then you’re doing something wrong, they’ll proclaim. Yet by the time the third lactation consultant is checking your latch and confirming that the baby is latching on properly (and that there are no tongue tie or other related issues), you will begin to suspect that the pain is just a normal part of nursing.
My advice is to avoid online breastfeeding forums. All the talk about it not hurting will simply make you feel like you are in fact doing something wrong and that you will never get it right. Lucky mothers who apparently don’t experience any pain will make you feel even worse.
So what works to help relieve the pain? Of all the gel packs, soothing pads, and other products on the market, I’ve only found two that provided me any real relief:
- Medela SoftShells: These saved me the first few weeks. When your nipples are that sore, you don’t want anything touching them between feeds. Not even shirts or nursing bras. Air is the best way to heal, along with some expressed breast milk on and around the nipples, but it simply isn’t practical to walk around topless all day. These bad boys fit comfortably over your nipples and provide protection from any contact while allowing air in to help with the healing process. They are well hidden under shirts and are easy to clean. A definite must have if you experience any soreness like me.
- Medela Contact Nipple Shield: This is a thin shield that is placed over the nipple before breastfeeding. It allows the baby to nurse from the breast while minimizing pain for you. They are not intended to act as a long term solution (and many lactation consultants will advise you not to use them for fear that there will be difficulties weaning from them), but if it is a choice between that and forgoing breastfeeding altogether, I say go with the nipple shields. They don’t completely eliminate all pain, but make it much more manageable. I’ve used these many times and have had no issues going back and forth between the shield and my nipple. A close friend of mine used nipple shields exclusively for three months, and had little issue weaning her baby directly onto the breast afterwards.
It hurts even when you’re not feeding
Sad, but true. Think that breast engorgement is a one time thing when your milk comes in? Think again. Any time you go longer than a few hours without either nursing or pumping, that hard pain of engorgement will come searing right back.
My nipples never get fully desensitized, which means that for however long I pump or breastfeed, my nipples are sore. That’s over ten months with my second child. They hurt in the shower (heaven forbid a stream of water hits them), if I put on a bra too quickly, or even if my breasts are not fully emptied. It just is what it is, and I’ve had to learn to accept it.
Not all Lactation Consultants are created equal
Once you give birth, a lactation consultant will be assigned to you in the hospital to help you through the initial days of breastfeeding. If you run into any challenges once you return home, you will undoubtedly seek the services of additional lactation consultants. There is no shortage of lactation consultants available, but they are NOT all the same.
I have had the opportunity to see many lactation consultants after the births of all three of my sons. Some helped. Others did not. Some had a great bedside manner. Others did not. Just like with any other service.
First, you want to ensure that any lactation consultant you see is certified as an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). I’ve noticed that many IBCLC certified lactation consultants are also certified in other services, or are RNs (Registered Nurses). Look for any combination of certification and skills that you may be interested in.
Consider if you’re interested in 1:1 consultations or a group setting. I personally prefer 1:1 consultations, but have had some luck with group settings/classes as well. I think if you are really struggling and considering quitting, a personal consultation is the most effective.
Talk to other mothers in your area. Ask for referrals. Tap your doctors and doulas. Consider contacting your local chapter of La Leche League if you need additional help. Don’t forget to contact your insurance company, as many do now provide coverage for lactation consulting services. My carrier, for example, allows for six in-network consultations free of charge, and additional at a deeply discounted rate.
Once you meet with the lactation consultant, ask questions. Share your concerns. And listen to not only what they say, but how they say it. I can think of two lactation consultants I’ve been to who were very good at what they do, but who had a horrible bedside manner. One berated me for supplementing with any formula, and the other was hurried, impatient, and dismissive. Not a great combination for an already frustrated mom looking for help.
Find someone you are comfortable with, and who is easily accessible to you. Odds are you won’t only have nursing questions and issues during business hours Monday through Friday, so find someone who welcomes your stressed texts and phone calls at 3am on a Sunday morning. They exist! And these are the ones who will help you reach your goals.
Supplements don’t always help with supply
With all three of my babies, I’ve had milk supply issues. Fortunately, my supply has increased with each baby and now I’ve finally gotten to the point where I am feeding my baby breast milk exclusively. But along the way, I’ve tried several products recommended to try to increase my supply. Here are some of my results:
- Lactation Cookies: Yummy, but did nothing for me in terms of supply.
- Mothers Milk Tea: I do think this helped me a bit, and I used it throughout most of the time I was exclusively pumping with my second child. It became habit – drink a cuppa as I pumpa. That said, it may have just been the additional fluid intake that was marginally helping with my supply.
- Fenugreek: I took it religiously with my first two children, but am not a huge fan. You have to take 6-9 capsules a day (a few three times a day) which is the first inconvenience. I wouldn’t mind if it had worked, but I simply don’t think it did. Also, your sweat and urine will smell strongly of maple syrup as long as you’re taking it.
- Milk Thistle: I also took this with both of my first two children, and didn’t notice much of a difference. I gave up and stopped taking it within a couple of weeks.
- Drinkable Supplements: I have tried at least 4-5 drinkable products designed to increase nursing mothers’ milk production. I didn’t find that any of them made a noticeable difference.
Now, that’s not to say that these supplements don’t work. Studies show that they can or do. They just didn’t work for ME.
What DOES work for me is eating often, drinking a lot of water (I aim for at least eight glasses a day), and nursing and pumping often. Which brings me to my next point.
You will still have to pump
I was so excited at the prospect of putting away the pump with my third baby. After 10 months of pumping with my second, I was DONE and ready to simply nurse at the breast.
Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
Much to my dismay, I learned that a successful breastfeeding relationship often includes pumping – at least for low suppliers like myself. So now, I am both nursing AND pumping.
The good news is that instead of pumping 10-12 times a day, I’m now pumping only 2-3 times a day. This is to increase my supply. So after the baby feeds, I will pump for an additional 15-20 minutes a few times a day to increase milk production. Other times I pump include times when the baby is sleeping and I don’t want to wake him to feed. Or if I am uncomfortably full in the night and need relief.
More good news is that it should help build a freezer stash, which means that someone else can feed the baby if you’re unable to.
But – let’s face it. Pumping is a PITA. Plastic parts, cleaning, storing milk, etc. And it only gets worse if you’re going back to work and won’t have the baby near you all the time.
Newborns eat OFTEN
In the beginning I was feeding every 30-60 minutes. Consistently. Which means that you basically have no time for anything OTHER than breastfeeding.
Even now, eight weeks in, I’m feeding every 1-2 hours at most. That is a lot of time spent breastfeeding. I track my feeds on a mobile baby app (Baby Connect – an excellent free app that tracks everything to do with baby) and am averaging close to three hours of breastfeeding daily at this point. This doesn’t include the additional time I spend pumping each day.
It’s basically a part time job. Much more than that in the very beginning.
I’m not complaining. Frequent feeds mean that your baby is doing his job and thriving. But it does mean that you have to become very deliberate about your schedule (or lack thereof) to be available for frequent feeds.
Feeds aren’t always as serene as they seem on TV
Turns out that babies have moods just like the rest of us. And that carries over into your nursing relationship.
Yes, there are times when the baby will feed peacefully, calmly, and you’ll be able to relax and just melt into the moment. But there are other times when your baby will be fussy, chomping and pulling at the nipple, while crying and fighting.
There are times when a feed will take 20 minutes and be easy-peasy. But there are also times when you will be feeding for over an hour only to find that your baby continues to remain unsatisfied, frustrating you both.
Sometimes your baby will allow you to easily guide him to the breast, gently releasing the latch once he is satiated. But at other times your baby will fight as you attempt to help her latch, and will pull off suddenly and painfully while clamping on your nipple when startled by a loud noise.
I’m confident that this gets better over time, as you and your baby learn each other’s cues and fall into a groove, but it’s always a possibility that either Mom or baby is having a bad day.
Lanolin allergies exist
Perhaps I’m in the minority, but I was shocked to find this out. After basically drowning my nipples in the stuff in my quest for pain relief, I was disappointed to not experience much relief at all – and instead simply be stuck with greasy, messy nipples. Even worse, my wounds weren’t healing and my nipples remained red, cracked, itchy, and swollen.
My lactation consultant took one look and diagnosed me with a lanolin allergy. Yep, I’m allergic to lanolin.
Turns out that lanolin comes from sheep’s wool, helping to make it waterproof. I also have an allergy to wool so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that lanolin causes the same reaction – if only I had known or researched its origins.
I quickly switched to the recommended Earth Mama Angel Baby Natural Nipple Butter (try saying that five times fast) and was amazed at how quickly the redness, itchiness, and swollen nipples healed. Not only that, but it was SO much easier to apply – a much lighter and smoother consistency that glides on and off. And no GMOs.
Even better, you can use regular old olive oil, which also contains some healing properties and is likely sitting around your kitchen already anyway.
So if the lanolin isn’t helping with healing, look into whether you may have an allergy and consider another product or just plain olive oil.
It is extremely satisfying
I expected to feel proud IF I could successfully breastfeed this time around, and I do. What I didn’t expect was how fulfilled it would make me feel. There is something deeply satisfying about knowing that you are feeding your child as nature intended. That you are responsible for his physical growth and weight gain. That your body brings her comfort when she is upset.
It’s instinctive.
There are moments in the middle of the night, when everyone else is sound asleep, that I want to cry gazing at my baby feeding so contentedly. When he finally releases in a milk-drunk haze, dozing over my shoulder as he is burped and then put back to bed.
There are expressions that only I will see. Sounds and coos that only I will hear. And baby eyes that only I will witness as they ease from anxiety to calm during a feed.
And these are the moments I live for. That make everything else worthwhile. These fleeting moments that will be gone too soon once he no longer will need me to nourish him.
So everything else – the pain, the inconvenience – I’ll take it. And cherish this time before it’s gone.
Interested in a breastfeeding update? Check out my new post, 10 More Things I’ve Learned About Breastfeeding At 6 Months Postpartum!
I felt the same way. I would have been mentally prepared for the downside of breast-feeding and might have breastfed longer if I only knew this things. Thanks for this.
Exactly! The one that bothers me the most is “it shouldn’t hurt.” I almost gave up because of everyone telling me that and therefore assuming I was doing something wrong. I would have much preferred to hear the truth – that it hurts but slowly gets better – to know that I was on the right track.
Hi! I just wanted to say I understand the hardship yet satisfying feeling of breastfeeding. We just had our fifth kiddo ten days ago! Now with the previous four once they learned to latch properly I had no pain…so imagine my surprise with kiddo number five her proper latch hurts like crazy!!! I fully understand the toe curling, teeth clenching pain you describe!!! I have finally deduced that she is just one strong sucker! 😉 I say many blessings for all us breastfeeders who know exactly what you mean!!! God bless!!! ❤️
Aw, congratulations on your new addition!! What a blessing! And that is so interesting to hear that your others didn’t hurt when latched, yet she does. I didn’t even consider that – I just assumed that for some women it ALWAYS hurts; I never considered the possibility that it may depend on the baby! Kudos to you for sticking it out through the pain – it is TOUGH!! You’re awesome for not only breastfeeding, but doing it with four other kids running around!
I nursed all eight of my children – and still nursing my last one – weaning is a slow process sometimes. Anyway, the whole “it shouldn’t hurt” thing is a load of BS. I remember in the hospital with my first I was required to watch a video on breastfeeding where several happy, smiling women sat around on couches nursing their – obviously not newborn – babies and chatting. So I went home with this unrealistic idea of the pain I was going to go through. It was tough! But, with the support of my husband I persevered and went on to have a successful breastfeeding experience. Women need to know that the first few weeks of breastfeeding can be so very hard, and it is painful – but so rewarding in the end.
Thank you so much for your comment – I couldn’t have said it better!! Thinking it wasn’t supposed to hurt the way it did (and sometimes still does) almost made me quit! Congratulations on nursing 8 children! What an accomplishment!!
Oh my goodness, this post brings back memories. And most of them are unfortunately BAD! The best bit was that Fenugreek made me smell like maple syrup! But this is a great read for new moms starting out as it lays out all of the options so I really like that. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks for your comments! That Fenugreek smell never left! Did it work for you in increasing your supply?
What a fantastic post!!! And way to go with breastfeeding – it’s so difficult at the beginning, but it does get easier and less painful (it really does get less painful!). I was super cocky when I was pregnant and all like, breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world – cavewomen didn’t have lactation classes – this is going to be easy, blah, blah, blah #unrealisticexpectations. Then I had a preemie who couldn’t latch and I had to pump, then use nipple shields, then had low supply, then, then, then……I was super persistent (ie stubborn beyond belief) and luckily enough we made it over each hurdle, but it was more difficult than anything I could’ve imagined. I wish more forums/websites/articles addressed the difficulties women face when trying to breastfeed to give us a more realistic view on what early breastfeeding can be like. But it does get easier, it really does.
Have you tried eating copious amounts of oatmeal? The fenugreek worked for me, but I also ate a ton of oatmeal at the beginning and it seemed to help my supply. I made cookies, but that was more so I could have an excuse to eat cookies.
And oh, the milk drunk baby is one of life’s most amazing things. Way to go, Momma, keep it up!
Thank you so much, Jessica! I thought the same things as you did – why is this so difficult? Women have been doing it since the beginning of time – why can’t I? But it really just isn’t that easy for everyone. I’m glad you were super persistent, and I credit my stubbornness to my success as well! It is definitely getting easier, and I’m so glad I didn’t stop.
I haven’t done a lot of oatmeal (yet) although I did with my second. Good reminder to start that up again! LOL on the lactation cookies!! 🙂
Great tips, Faye! You’re right on these. It’s crazy how much a baby eats and some new moms just aren’t mentally prepared for this!
Thank you! I was shocked for sure to be spending pretty much all day feeding the newborn! But it does slowly start to spread out over time, so now I’m able to begin doing some things in between (which is nice!)
This is great. I did exclusively breastfeed my two for over a year, but it was not without difficulties. And I was exclusively formula fed and it didn’t harm me, so I’m not a breast milk zealot. I wanted to do it & I’m glad I did. It has its benefits like cost and in some ways convenience (though being the person who has to do every feed is not convenient!)
Yes, the nonsense of if done properly it shouldn’t hurt! My two fed properly, I maintained my supply for 13 months and 18 months respectively – it was being done right. They were latched properly. It DID often hurt!
I was lucky that I did not need to express for my supply, but with first, I did express daily so that daddy could feed her sometimes, and so we could take bottles out and about as I was not comfortable breastfeeding in public. It is really hard work to feed AND pump. & pumping is really unpleasant – well done you for getting through it. With second, as first was only 15 months old, and I am alone with both every day, I really didn’t have any opportunity for pumping, so she just fed from me & I had to get over fear of doing it in public (& buy giant muslins!)
I do think it would be much better if people were more honest about the fact that it is not easy. I think many people think there must be something wrong with them when they find it hard, as it is suggested it is simple & natural. I hardly know anyone who had no problems. I would be classed as a successful breastfeeder, but even so, I had massive problems getting them to latch in first few weeks, especially the eldest.
Everything you’ve said resonates!! I was just telling a friend last night that I feel like all I do is feed, pump, clean pump parts, and repeat. Right now my husband is home helping but once he goes back to work I’m not sure how I will manage that along with the other two kids – so will probably have to do what you did and feed from the breast exclusively. I so wish there was more honesty about the pain and challenges so that new nurses wouldn’t feel so isolated or as if they were doing it wrong. Congratulations on two successful breastfeeding relationships!! I hope I can go as long.
Yes! Breastfeeding hurts! It does – even if you have the perfect latch! I breastfed my first two kids exclusively and plan on breastfeeding my third. I also know that I am extremely LUCKY to have not had any serious problems with breastfeeding. I feel terrible for the mothers (like yourself) who needed formula (thank god for formula!) and are made to feel bad.
What’s most important is that your baby is fed. Period. Thank you for sharing your story, Faye. 🙂
Thank you, Aileen! Congratulations on breastfeeding your two children exclusively, and on your upcoming new nursing journey! It’s such an accomplishment! I wish there wasn’t so much judgment towards women who aren’t able to breastfeed (or exclusively), as you mention. It has the opposite effect and makes new mothers feel awful. Feeding your baby, as you said, is what is most important!
This is such an interesting post! I wasn’t successful at breastfeeding, and it hurt like heck! I admire moms who can do this! This post should be helpful to many!
Thanks, Terri! It DOES hurt and is not easy for many – and that’s okay! Wish it wasn’t such a taboo to admit in our culture.
I had similar issues and had to exclusively pump as well. Since I had to go back to teaching I had to stop at 3 months, but I was ready! Both of my kids are very healthy and thriving! Reading this brings back all the memories 🙂
Huge kudos to you for exclusive pumping – it’s so hard!! The formula shaming has got to stop!
Oh Oh OH. I could write forever about this. This is a sponsored post but I would love to throw my recommendation into the ring for the products you mention. I also used wool breast pads and found them soft, absorbent and reusable. I know, wool on chapped nipples sounds terrible but it was fine. I admire your research and effort. With a third child and a questionable history I’m not sure I would have stuck with it the way you did. Congrats! I am happy never to see or hear a breast pump again. I am done being milked.
Haha I hear you! As I sit here pumping while typing! Breastfeeding is so wonderful and can be so beautiful… Yet can also be challenging, frustrating, and PAINFUL! Great tip on the wool breast pads!
This is a great post full of wonderful information! I agree with you- breastfeeding hurts sometimes no matter what the internet people say! For me it did eventually go away, but there was a lot of pain at first and then latching pain for weeks after. Nursing isn’t all snuggles and fun (though sometimes it is!) but it is an amazing gift to give your child if you can. Good luck!
Thanks, Brittany! I am glad I’m not alone on the pain front. Even now, 5 months in, it STILL hurts at times if there is a bad latch (or something startles the baby). But, like you said, there are so many amazing moments as well. It’s all so worth it.
It might be worth speaking to a lactation consultant if you can! I was in pain to for months with my daughter, I think I got use to the pain in the end and went on to feed her for over 2years
Thanks Marion!
I breastfeed my only child in the mid 1980’s. The hippies had left the scene, no internet and little support for breast feeding let alone doing it in public, no matter how discretly. My Mother in law did everything to convience me not to breast feed. Sadly my own Mother died several years before my daughter was born but I knew she had tried to breastfed me unsuccessfully. But a chance meeting with an elderly women changed my breast feeding from insecure to confidence. She shared her struggle feeding 8 babies , some while malnourished herself in the depression. Gave me hints and encouragement. It was an encounter I thank God for sending me a angel I needed right then. I’m so thankful young women can find support and help in the online community.
Wow, what an awesome story! I can’t even imagine – eight babies, and some even during the Depression! You’re so right – we are very fortunate nowadays to find online support and others to help and answer our questions in the online community. I can definitely see how easy it would have been to give up in the 80s when none of that support was available.
I had originally planned to exclusively breastfeed and pump but a lot of my original plans changed when it came time for delivery. Delivery started from being induced to waiting 24 hours for dilation to trying vaginal delivery to an emergency c-section. And after all that my poor baby girl had some trouble breathing and ended up in the NICU, but fortunately she was only in there for 15 hours and is now a strong and healthy 5 weeks old! But while she was in the NICU, my plans for no formula was thwarted, and therefore she had some trouble with breastfeeding because she liked how easy and fast the bottle was. But I kept breastfeeding along with supplementing and she has been doing fine, until we found out she had developed an allergy to milk proteins when we found blood in her stool 🙁 so we had to switch to a different formula for babies with milk allergies and I am now forbidden to eat any kind of dairy. Which hasn’t been easy. I really miss cheese haha now I have been trying to pump more because I will need to return to work soon, but my supply seems to have dropped significantly compared to the first couple weeks. I used to get at least 2 ounces from one breast in one sitting but now I can’t even get barely one ounce from both breasts combined in a very long sitting. It’s kinda frustrating because I can’t understand why it has decreased so much. The other night I squeezed out an ounce and combined it with another ounce I had pumped earlier and then I accidentally dropped it and spilled pretty much all of it. Needless to say I cried for a little while because it was like watching liquid gold go down the drain lol I’m not really sure what I can do to increase my supply, I’ve been taking fenugreek but not sure if it’s doing anything :-/ but I need to start up a supply so that my husband can feed her when I’m not there and so he’s not just feeding her formula only. I mean I understand that she can just have formula, but like you said it just feels so great when you know you are providing for your baby.
Congratulations Mama on working SO hard for your baby!! I really commend you for all that you’re doing — most people (and I include myself) would never have made it this far. It’s so hard when your baby spends time in the NICU – then couple that with a milk protein allergy and having to go back to work, and it makes it nearly impossible. I’ve always had supply issues (even now I barely make enough and not always), and for me the only thing that seems to help is expressing, expressing, expressing – at least every two hours. Whether that be by baby (best), pump, or even hand expressing. Something I’ve learned recently is that hand pumps really help me express better than electric ones. I purchased one for a trip and was shocked at how much more milk I was able to express. So perhaps try that along with massage and warm compresses? Either way, formula is FINE for your baby as well, so you can always supplement as needed (or even move to it exclusively). The important thing is that your baby is being fed, and you are doing an incredible job of making that happen. I am really inspired by your story and wish you all the best. Keep me posted!
Thanks so much! Yes it hasn’t been easy but it seems as though that is pretty normal. We all have struggles. And it’s nice to have support and encouraging words from others! I’m definitely going to start trying to be more strict with my pumping schedule. And I need to drink more water! That has been one of my challenges. Hopefully it’ll get easier, but until then I’ll just have to keep trying 🙂
Ah yes, the water is key (and I struggle with that myself!) Your baby is very fortunate to have a mommy like you!
Thank you so much for this. I did not BF my older 2 and really wanted it to be a success with Baby #3. We are in week 4 and doing great, but yes, it still hurts and I was wondering if it would ever stop or if I was doing something wrong. And yes, at times she gets fussy and refuses to feed calmly. Pretty much every concern I have had, you have addressed, and it helps me know that we ARE doing good! Thank you for the honesty and encouragement!
Congratulations on successfully breastfeeding baby #3! What an accomplishment! I’m sorry it is still painful and, truthfully, I still had pain up to 8-10 weeks (even now sometimes when the baby is especially hungry/violent lol). But it does get better as you the baby figure out your groove. So happy for you!
I feel very fortunate to have been abe to breastfeed my first for 14 months! I feel like I had an easier time than most, but it was still hard in the beginning. I wasn’t sure if she was latching correctly, and it was painful for awhile. Once we got the hang of it though, I enjoyed it! Keep in mind too, that everyone’s experience is different. Some women just can’t do it, and that’s ok too! I didn’t need to pump, unless I was going to be away from her for awhile. Unfortunately she never learned to take a bottle and I also couldn’t freeze my milk because it changed the taste😞 My advice to those wanting to breastfeed, don’t give up! If you get through the first 3 months, you can do it!!
Wow – 14 months is awesome! Congratulations!! You’re absolutely right about different experiences for different women – and formula being fine too. And I love the 3 month timeline. It’s true – if you can get through the first three month it gets much easier!
Great article!
I had easy nursers my frst two babies. I was only 23 with my first and had zero issues. One nursed until 2 and the other until 18mths. Was I ever surprised with my third at 35 – awful!
Toe curling pain for every feed at least the first month (honestly it’s a blur – I think it was longer!) nipple shields, blisters and constant thrush. It got easier but the thrush made nursing as unbearable as at the beginning. And she got it constantly. One side was so bad I weaned her from that breast nearly 6 months before completing weaning. She was also resistant to intervention and screamed the house down when the midwife tried to assist. It was draining and defeating.
But…we made it. And my third nursed the longest…just over 2 years.
Now I’m expecting my fourth and I know that as great as it is to be experienced at nursing, some babies are just aggressive and tough to nurse no matter how much you know. She is a very headstrong girl even at 4!
If she’d been my first I would have doubted myself and certainly given up before three months. Knowing the satisfaction of good nursing relationships made me push on.
First time nursers should be told this. I wonder how many give up or don’t try with other children because they think they just can’t do it.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I think that’s an excellent point – that the nursing experience is different with each child. You’re absolutely right – if a mother’s first child is an aggressive nurser, she may just give up for all future children, assuming she can’t do it instead of realizing that other children may be easier. Congratulations on your upcoming fourth! I’m curious how that nursing relationship may or may not be different from your others.
My first son, at 25 was easy (or so I thought). He was heavily supplemented before even leaving the hospital, though. It was difficult, painful and I never seemed to make enough. Somehow, we rode it out fof nearly 8 months. My daughter, born nearly 3 years later was HELL. In the hospital with her, the lactation consultant came in (because I’d been feeding for over 5 hours with no signs of slowing down) weighed her, had me feed her for 30 minutes, then weighed again. She’d lost nearly an ounce. I was forced to supplement her. Then, many more issues before her first tooth at 2.5 months old, which cut like a razor.
My 2nd son (10 years after the first!) will be 1 month tomorrow, and while he’s the smallest at nearly 2 pounds less than the other two, he’s the strongest sucker and best feeder I’ve ever had. Unfortunately supply issues are still present, so he’s also supplemented, but MUCH less than the first two were. I have no plans to go back to work either, so I’ve got time to figure out what’s going to work best for us. I really wanted him to be exclusively breastfed; but as long as he’s eating and growing, I’m happy. 🙂
Thanks for your comment – what a journey! Especially your daughter; I can’t even imagine the frustration of feeding and feeding only to find that she is losing weight. Congratulations on the birth of your third baby! It sounds like you’re doing incredibly well at just one month, and I would venture to guess that within a few weeks he will be exclusively or almost exclusively breastfed. It took me a couple months to get to that point with my third as well, but now we’re still going strong at eight months in (he is supplemented a tiny bit – maybe 1-2 bottles a week total). It’s interesting how each baby is so different. I love hearing about others’ experiences.
About that pain… my lactation consultant noticed that my Montgomery glands were swollen and bruised. She prescribed ibuprofen ointment and that did help. We are going into month 8 and at times it still hurts so bad. I have never had sore, dry, cracked, or bleeding nipples. Just that excruciating pain. I’m glad you said something… helped me realize that it’s normal for some of us. Yay us!!!!
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing so much pain! That’s interesting about the Montgomery glands – I never knew that! Unfortunately I think pain is just par for the course for some of us… I wish I had known that sooner so I wouldn’t have kept thinking I was doing something wrong. Congratulations on month 8!! You’re doing an awesome job despite the pain, and your baby is very lucky to have you.